sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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