I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
