whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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