Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
