the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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