Buhtt sex?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
