"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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