I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
