He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
