your room smells of hookers.
And success
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
