hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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