I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
