We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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