Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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