I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Randomize
