just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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