Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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