Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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