I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
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Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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