no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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