hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
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The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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