why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
