Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
NoShamevember. You game?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
