Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
