I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Welp...herpes.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
