i barfeds in our rink
its not stalking. its research.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
