lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
