We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
