Please, let me fuck your mom
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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