Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize