every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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