A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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