I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
