I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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