thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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