Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
