I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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