Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
