I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize