walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
