oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
