Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
