Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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