we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize