It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
