Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize