I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
