remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
