the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
