Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
