the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
