So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
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he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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