You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize