you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
