Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
