Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
