yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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