we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Randomize
