The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize