I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
